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With the cream of the club heading off to the Drummond on Sunday the real hard men of the Wheelers decided to take in the Barmill APR, which is rapidly gaining classic status in the west of Scotland; not just as an enjoyable day out, but also due to a section which has some very close resemblances to the Arrenberg Trench of Paris Roubaix and a mini-Muur that has to be ascended 6 times before the finish, although there were racers who thought that 5 circuits were enough (more of this later).

Davie Lang, Jon Clarke, David Griffiths and your humble correspondent all got their names on the start sheet and headed to Ayrshire, the weather and course having being booked by Paul MacDonald from the Johnstone Wheelers! (This man is heading for an OBE). There wasn’t much team tactics chat at the start given our low numbers, but the general agreement was that would try and get in the top ten or twelve and work away to close the gap. There were 3 groups off, with 6 minutes between them, and David, Jon and myself were last to get going with Davie a bit up the road in front. As decided we were at the head of affairs for a lap and a half or so, which passed in a rattling haze. The key factors in this 9mile circuit, were going to be the ‘mini-Muur’ on the far side of the course, the wind, and the Arrenberg-trench after the start finish which was more potholes than normal road. Positioning was important and after a couple of laps I could almost tell which side of a rider I had to be on and when I could use a hedgerow to move up a few paces. After a couple of laps I saw Davie Lang come into site and gave him a shout to get in, but the legs were heavy today and I saw a shake of the head –such is life and there’s no point getting upset about it. On lap 3 I decided to drop back a bit to see what was going on behind and got a bit of a shock at the size of the non-participating group. Most noticeable were a few of the other Glasgow Clubs that had the same numbers as us, but were showing a lack of ambition. This was my first race in 5 years and it suddenly came back to me –you can either a) Be strong enough to get away – not me at the moment, b) Sit in, let others work, and hang on for as long as you can – definitely me at the moment c) work and get dropped later on – also me at the moment or d) Let others work in the hope that you can deliver a low moral blow by appearing from behind when the race is being decided – not something I have ever been capable of, not due to morals only lack of physical prowess. At this point I opted for option (b), with the view that at some point I may ascend to (a)but would settle for (d) and conceded to myself that (c) was the only true path to (a), but it sounded too much like hard work.

I moved back up the bunch to inform Jon of the philosophical position I had adopted and try to bring him over to the dark side too, but he is made of sterner stuff and had it in his mind to close the gap. David was still going strong at this point and I semi-relented with a few more turns on the front. The next time up the climb Jon put in a real dig to try and get away or shake things up a bit at least, and this worked to some extent, but there was a block head-wind over the top and no-one willing or able to keep it going. I definitely felt this one and was unable to close a small gap shortly afterwards and had to rely on Craig McQueen from Falkirk Wheelers to do the work. Shortly afterwards he closed a much larger gap to the group in front, as did Mark Richards from EKRC and a few others.

Round and round again, I was losing count now, and my legs were getting heavier. Up to the front for another chat with Jon, this time on the start/finish straight. I encouraged him to push on with another couple of guys that had gone off the front and said I would cover anything from behind. Jon moved over and a gap of 15m appeared and I let it go, but sure enough it was shut down just as we came into the Arrenberg trench.

The fifth time up the climb and the elastic stretched extensively for David and I, but we clawed our way back on. David made an amazing recovery and I saw him clip off the front with Steven Robertson from EKRC. I got as far as thinking about it, but that was all. David came back to us at the finishing strip, but had over-cooked it a bit thinking, as quite a few others did, that this was the last lap and that was the race over for him. As expected the hammer went down on the last approach to the pave, at the head of affairs were some Courriers who were well supported from the sidelines, and Jon’s frustration got the better of him at this point. I shouted as I came by and assumed he had latched on but gaps appeared and the wheel he was following gave up.

I barely made it up the hill this time, an enormous space opened up, I cramped in both legs, things stopped working, I barely maintained my continence and thought it was all over. However, I could tell the bunch had slowed down over the top. So I looked at the tarmac, thought of absolutely nothing, shut my eyes and gave it 30seconds of my last. Having regained contact I caught sight of the lead group – 15seconds ahead, we never quite made it there, and I was left contesting the sprint in what was left of the scratch bunch.

Another great day out again. There are the highs and lows of cycling and for me this was a large high. It doesn’t have the same ‘I beat ‘em up’ theme as the Eagle of Bearsden’s reports, or we won it ending such as Robbie’s stories. This was more about survival and not getting dropped – but I’ll be getting dropped this Tuesday on the A77 so don’t worry!